she still calls me daddy

In his book, She Still Calls Me Daddy, Robert Wolgemuth takes on the vital issue of building a new relationship (different) with your daughter AFTER she walks down the aisle. Wolgemuth dedicates this book to his two sons-in-law after thanking them for still allowing him to be involved in their life. Right away you are reminded of how vital this "new season" of relationship is to a newly married woman. This daughter no longer looking to be led by her father, instead her husband, but still appreciating this vital relationship with her daddy to be healthy and growing. Wolgemuth takes the 7 things that he believes every father should provide for a daughter, and gives them a fresh look as a father provides these to his now married daughter living along new leadership. Wolgemuth suggests the 7 things are: Protection, Conversation, Affection, Discipline, Laughter, Faith, and Conduct. One of the most important chapters is chapter 3, in which Wolgemuth suggests that a vital role of a father is to safeguard his daughter's marriage. In other words, looking for ways to help her marriage work rather than trying to get in the middle of it or tearing it down. I am so thankful for my own father-in-law who helps encourage my marriage with his daughter so well! A new marriage, Wolgemuth writes has to be "released from the familiar and set free to establish their own normals". In chapter 6, Discipline-the art of letting go, he writes, we can "either evaluate or we (can) celebrate, if we choose to stand back, fold our arms, and evaluate our grown kids, we'll live in constant frustration over our inability to change them." I think that Wolgemuth is correct when saying that letting go is a lost art in parenting and is one of the biggest frustrations of young marriages. This is pretty good resource especially for those in the empty nest season of life.

forgiveness and apologies seem to go hand in hand

Yesterday, I (Casey) got the opportunity to preach to the Rejoice Church North Campus about forgiveness. The challenge was for each of us to consider obeying Christ by making forgiveness a spiritual discipline of our lives. It seems real easy for me to desire forgiveness from others, but not always freely desire to forgive others. Then on other occasions I seem willing to forgive and forget but refuse to want to ask forgiveness or even say humble words like: I'm sorry, will you forgive me?! In fact, sometimes asking someone to forgive you can be harder than any possible act that requires words. Recently I started reading "The Reason for Sports-A Christian Fanifesto" by Ted Kluck. This book really is just a simple collection of essays about life, sports, and Christ. It's a easy read and light on the brain. ha! But overall, Ted does a good job challenging each one of us to look at all of life, including sports through the life and teachings of Christ. In the first chapter, "It's Hard to Say I'm Sorry", Ted after telling as story about his own son, Tristan being willing to apologize after making his neighbor's nose bleed...Ted writes the following:

"The cross and the gospel, are by nature offensive. It's off-putting to suggest that sin exists in a world that tries so hard...to justify it. As athletes, we want to thank God for our touchdowns, write "all things are possible" in marker on our wrist tape or shoes, and kneel in the end zone after we score. But that's only half the story. We want to live like Jesus. Give talks. Maybe even start nonprofit foundations. But perhaps the most Christian thing we could do, from stage, is acknowledge our own sin. And as fans, we need to realize our role models are human, sinners just like us, and extend the grace to forgiven when they sin and act for their own self-interests."

It's my prayer that I will be a person who is willing to forgive others as Christ has so infinitely forgiven me. Then on many occasions when others experience the forgiveness of a brother or friend or co-worker, its in those moments they will be drawn to the greatest forgiver of all-Jesus Christ. And for that: I will never apologize.

-casey cariker

The dirty "A" word-adultery

Over the last several weeks, I have had the privilege of meeting with several guys to eat breakfast, pray, and discuss how we could better lead our homes for Christ. It has been real encouraging seeing several of these guys who come from different backgrounds, grew up in different hometowns, most have different seasons of life, and many face different challenges. This week, we continued reading the book, Point Man, by Steve Farrar. Today's chapter, Real Men Don't, discussed the dirty "A" word-adultery. Farrar discusses the fact that when a husband cheats on his wife its not just an affair but adultery. And with adultery comes tremendous consequences like losing your marriage, damaging your influence with your kids, losing friendships, hurting your witness to those outside of Christ, being removed from leadership, and suffering almost insurmountable emotional damage. Here are a few more quotes from the book:

*We have seen too many leaders in recent years who have preached righteousness in the pulpit while practicing unrighteousness in some hotel room.
*Righteousness must not only be found in our pulpits, but in our homes.
*The modus operandi (for all men) should be to flee sexual immorality. See I Cor. 6:18
*He quotes Boake Carter, "in time of war, the first casualty is truth."
*We are in the greatest danger of all when we think we are safe. (Stand heed unless you fall...)
*Each divorce is the death of a small civilization.
*There is nothing wrong with desiring happiness, but horrendous problems develop when we become disobedient to obtain it.
*Forgiveness is available to all. But forgiveness does not automatically restore the privilege of leadership.

Have you ever suffered negative consequences regarding someone's choice? Have you ever personally lost a friendship or relationship due to adultery? Just today, ESPN came out with a story about one of their leading baseball analyst who is taking a leave of absence from his commentating in the middle of the playoffs. Why? Evidently he has been having an affair-committing adultery-with a co-worker. He is married and has several children. It is important to feel the pain that he and his family and this co-worker are all currently feeling. It is important to pray for each of those people that they will experience the forgiveness of Christ and the freedom to obedience he brings. It is important to exam each one of our own lives to set up specific boundaries and accountability so that we don't suffer the same things. After all, its because of grace we can be forgiven, and its because of grace that we remain free from the same sin. May God continue to raise up Godly men at Rejoice, in our cities, throughout our nation and in this world to lead our families and point others to Christ. That is a real man! -casey

learning leadership from those leaving a legacy

Just ran across Will Mancini's blog about Chuck Swindoll's talk today at the Catalyst Conference in Atlanta, Georgia. See: http://clarityevangelist.typepad.com/will_mancini/2009/10/10-profound-lessons-from-the-catalyst-godfather-.html Chuck Swindoll received the legacy award, he is 70 years old and was the former president of Dallas Theological Seminary and recent preaching pastor at Stonebriar Community Church. http://www.stonebriar.org/ Chuck Swindoll is also known for his worldwide radio bible program called: Insight for Living. http://www.insight.org/

Here are his 10 lessons from 50 years of ministry:

It’s lonely to lead
It’s dangerous to succeed
It’s hardest at home
It’s essential to be real
It’s painful to obey
Brokenness and failure are necessary
Attitude overshadows actions
Integrity eclipses image
God’s way is always better than my way
Christlikeness begins and ends with humility

nehemiah: reforming our lives in order to rebuild our communities

This past Sunday we started our REBUILD preaching series from the book of Nehemiah. One of the main teaching portions of this book is that God has called Nehemiah to be a catalyst for rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem which was a city for God's people and glory. This seemed to be an impossible task, since Nehemiah lived 800 miles away, the walls had been broken for mnay years and the wall was 4.5 miles long. The walls also covered 960 acres, which is about 1. 5 square miles. This task that Nehemiah had for leadership was incredible. Tons of people challenges, money needs, families represented, cultural understandings, opinions by multiple generations, expectations from thousands, enemies at bay, etc... What is really incredible is the task was accomplished in 52 days! Wow. However, when I think about how impossible this task was and yet it was accomplished by God through people in 52 days, that has me thinking. What could we accomplish if we set our minds, hearts, and souls toward over the next 52 days. What might God want to do amongst us and within us over the next 52 days? God could save a marriage over the next 52 days if we were willing to be led by God and serve our spouse. God could reorganize our finances in 52 days and take us from drowning in debt, to setting a new course, and having a new plan of action. God could enable us to forgive something or someone that we have been bitter towards for years in just 52 days. God may even want us to see more life change in the next 52 days than we have seen in the last 52 months? Who knows what God will do, if only we will set our hearts toward His plan over the next 52 days! -casey

young leaders at rejoice

Recently, at Rejoice South we had picture day. It was a lot of fun to see tons of pics of the different individuals, families, and new people that God has been sending us. This picture was one that got my attention. Not because they are all new to Rejoice but because of their potential. Tonight, I began to think about each one, their different faith stories, their different family situations, their unique personalities, their specific gifts to the body of Christ...then I began to pray for them. "Father, will you remind them of your supernatural love today. Awaken them to the Spirit of God that you have given them upon surrendering to your grace. Open their hearts so they can worship passionately, transform their minds so they can think biblically, open their hand so they will give generously, give their feet a new direction/purpose for live, and help them use their words for your glory!" Amen.
-casey cariker

have you noticed "the noticer"

What have you been noticing about your world lately? Do you fly through life only noticing your relationships, your needs, and the things you are interested in? In his book, The Noticer, Andy Andrews does a good job writing an interesting narrative about an elderly homeless person who noticed many important things about several different people and families. He notices damaged relationships/marriage, leaders who need wisdom, people who need a hand up, young people who need encouragement and so on. Andrews does a great job writing a simple, easy to read narrative. This is a book that I could recommend to people who need to grow in their understanding of making an impact on others. However, I "noticed" that several concepts in the narrative were real similar to other books that I have read. For example, Andrews talks about how each one of us express our love for others, especially in a marriage, yet what he noticed sounded just like Gary Chapman's book on Love Languages. Overall this book was worth reading, it was catchy in its story telling, it made a few good points, but I wouldn't call it a 'must read'. I give this book 3 stars. -casey cariker

dear mother of young children

(written by Cindy Beall at www.cindybeall.com)
Dear Mother of young children,
Your days are long, aren’t they, precious? You are so tired of telling that 3-year old to pee-pee in the potty you could scream. And you often do. You wonder when your newborn is going to sleep through the night so that you can sleep through the night. You never knew just how precious sleep was until now.
You dream of days when you can walk through the grocery store alone. You will hear another woman’s baby cry and you’ll be overjoyed because it is, in fact, another woman’s baby…not yours. You might even start skipping as if to say, “I am sorry she is crying, but your baby can cry the whole time for all I care because I don’t have my children. I AM ALONE!”
You count the hours down until the afternoon nap. You will battle with them for a bit as they fight off the impending sleep, but you know the battle will be yours. They doze off and you pray that the next 120 minutes will actually feel like 240. You complete the household duties that never seem to disappear and then sit down for a much-needed, much-deserved rest before the natives awake.
The dreaded time frame from 4:00 - 6:00 in the late afternoon is not to far away. You wonder what you’ll do to calm the cries this time. It’s commonly referred to as Arsenic Hour because you don’t know whether to give it to them or take it yourself. But you make it through, manage to prepare a decent meal for your family, and bathe and bed them so that you can grab 20 minutes of time with your husband before you doze off due to sheer exhaustion.
It won’t always be this way.
When that youngest turns five and heads off to kindergarten, you will wonder where the time went. Sure, you will enjoy your 2.5 hours of freedom each morning because your city only has 1/2-day kindergarten, but your eyes will light up as you see his cute, little self bouncing toward you in the carpool lane. You’ll inquire about his day and hope he shares every ounce of it with you so that you will not miss a thing.
Your older child can brush her own teeth, dress herself and even make herself some lunch. You offer to help her and she graciously replies, “Oh, no thanks, Mom. I’ve got it.” And you smile a little because you are proud of the little lady she is becoming, all the while holding back the tears that the child that once peed on your hard-wood floors now goes to the restroom like a normal child and even makes her own meals.
You will enter new seasons and what once drove you over the edge will now be a distant memory that brings a smile to your face. You will wonder where the days went when your sons foot begins to get as big as yours.
You will not even be able to remember the last time you didn’t sleep through the night. There will be no more diapers, wipes, sippy cups or pacifiers. The faces that once stole your heart away will begin to look like little people. And those little people will start looking like young adults.
So, hang in there. Some days all you feel like doing is hanging. And that’s okay. Try your best to enjoy each day to it’s fullest with these priceless gifts you’ve been given. Because trust me when I say this, you will miss this.
I sure do. -written by Cindy Beall at www.cindybeall.com -posted by casey cariker

My son, Candry and prayer

I love praying with my family-I love praying with my kids. Last night, God just blew me away by impressing these words upon my 4 year old son Candry, he prayed:
Dear Jesus we thank you that you have power over DEATH, that you are THE LIFE, that you suffered, died and rose again for us. The wine reminds us of your blood and the bread reminds us of your body, because of you we can live in heaven...Jesus come back for us, come quickly jesus, come quickly!

When was the last time you stopped to pray with your family? Never underestimate the power of God in prayer and the ability of your children, kids, or family to pray God sized prayers! -casey c.

81 years of marriage...what's the secret?

Recently, several media outlets highlighted this couple for setting a UK record for being married for 81 years! How incredible! Make sure to watch this and here their secret at the end of the interview.

neighbors in need/you responded so well!

Two weeks ago, we ended our "One Month to Live" series by taking the challenge to give generously to our neighbors and go boldly to the nations! Our church family has responded to the first challenge immediately. Over the last two weeks, we have launched the "Neighbors in Need" ministry (thanks Tiffany Bell and others), and there were over 125 grocery bags full of food collected last Sunday for people in our communities. The good news is that this is not the first time Rejoice Church has helped our neighbors in need. People like Mark Ledbetter, Brad Bickerstaff, Julia Horstman, Judy Horst, and many others have assisted with our local "Standing in the Gap". Our north campus for many years has been assisting people in their time of need with food and resources. Owasso Community Resources and the Pregnancy Resource Center of Owasso has also been something we have stood by for several years. Now, you (we) have done it again. We are expanding our capacity to show love to those in need through providing canned goods and non-perishables on a weekly basis to our neighbors, from the south campus. This picture is just a small glance of the generosity that you have shown. Also, our Rejoice Church Kids ministry has been doing a clothing drive for those who are in need in OKC due to the recent fires throughout the area. Then Sunday, our student ministry continues their relationship with many people downtown as they provide monthly support to those who are homeless. Why do we do all of these things? Because we are loved by God and we desire to show and share the love of God to those who are in need of His help. -More info. to come... - casey c.

even more God moments over the first 100 Days

We got to encourage nearly 150 people that there is still hope even during tough economic times. Thanks to www.townhallforhope.com and the live video simulcast of Dave Ramsey, we were all encouraged to stay focused on our stewardship and place our hope in Christ.

We have launched seven new weekly bible studies and many of them are connecting new adults through regular bible teaching and prayer.

We have 6-10 people who meet every Sunday morning to pray for both campuses and for God's Spirit to be evident during our services and in our lives.

We now have several families considering permanently adopting a child for the first time or going through the adoption process again!

Many people have lost their jobs over the last few months but God has already provided new jobs for a lpt of them.

Our student ministry has been regularly helping the homeless in downtown Tulsa. Each month there are 30-50 students who show the love of Christ to people in need, and without a permanent home.

Last week we launched a brand new benevolence/food pantry ministry called "Neighbors in Need". Both campuses will be regularly involved in this ministry for our community. Last Sunday we had over 250 grocery bags picked up to be filled with groceries for those in need.

Keep Rejoicing-another 100 Days to come! -Casey C.

first 100 Days at Rejoice South pt 2

We have see over 40 more people serve for the first time in a local church ministry.

We have had more than 25 different families bring a first time guest to church. (2 different families have brought more than 8 families each)

We have seen 20 families give for the first time to the kingdom through Rejoice Church.

We have seen several families receive the joy/blessing of a newborn child.

We have almost 20 families dedicated themselves and their children to the Lord. (including this Sunday at Mother's Day!)

How has God worked in your life over the last 100 days? What has God been teaching you? In what ways are you learning to trust God in greater ways? -casey

it's all about the money..or is it?

Last night, Rejoice Church joined over 1 million people across the nation listening to Dave Ramsey talk about HOPE despite the recent recession. About 150 people attended the event at our south campus and over 50% of those people where people I had personally never met! Dave did a good job helping us understand where our nation's economony currently sits, what our history has been over the last 200 years and what we face in the coming days. It was good to hear things like: this is not even the worst recession since the great depression, unemployment is high but it is mainly worse in 5 of our states, there is no need to panic..etc. It was also a great reminder for each of us to be reminded to still work hard, be wise money managers, and don't stop looking for creative ways to impact people and business.

On the other side, the overall theme that I gained from this event was not to put your HOPE in MONEY! We hear and read this priniciple all throughout the New Testament but it is much easier to hear than to apply. The truth is that when times are a little "tighter" it makes us better with what we have. Our hope is in Christ. Our hope is in His work, not ours. Our hope is in His power and grace! I'm thankful that I don't have to depend on my own "skills", knowledge, or ability to have HOPE. Have you noticed yourself placing hope in anything else besides Christ? How have you become a better money manager as of late? How has the recent economy changes made you more aware of the needs of the world?

Don't forget that we are currently providing two "financial 101" classes on Sundays at 9:30 and 11:00 am. See you on Sunday! -Casey C.

This Past Sunday

Wow! What a worship service last Sunday morning! It was our pleasure to host Kerwin and Vicki Dees at both services to start our series: One Month to Live. Their testimony, stories, and God empowered joy, made the services some of the strongest moments we have ever had at Rejoice South. So many people were challenged, encouraged, and reminded of the grace of God and the life-changing gospel, through the Dees family. Here are a few conversations that I heard just from last Sunday alone:

*I have never been in a church service like that one just now...this will be a moment that I will never forget!
*I have been battling cancer for the last 12 weeks, and this was the first Sunday I was able to come back to church. Their story was exactly what I needed today.
*God really convicted me and spoke to my heart this morning...I really need to get my eyes of my problems and on His grace.
*The only problem with the services on Sunday was that they were too short, I could have listened to the Dees' family talk for another hour.
*I hope God gives me a portion of the grace that He has given to Kerwin and Vicki.
*The Dees family has always been an encouragement to me and they were encouragers again today.
*I can't wait to go to heaven and meet Jesus too!
*God has given both Kerwin and Vicki so much grace.
*Today I left wanting to be more like Christ!

Here are a few other conversations that happened on Sunday:
*This was our first time to be at Rejoice and we are definately coming back.
*I am really starting to feel comfortable here, it seems like I'm really going to be able to get to know people.
*I'm learning a lot at this church.
*We moved here from North Carolina and we enjoy the environment/atmosphere of the people and the hospitality.
*Our kids are learning so much during church...
*Oh, so you have two churches in Owasso? I will be back next Sunday.

What did you think or hear? What did God teach you last Sunday? How is God challenging you to think or act differently?

is it the juice or the package?

In a recent article from the Advertising Age, the orange juice brand Tropicana was highlighted for it's latest sales plummet. So why has the Tropicana Orange Juice sales plummetted by 20% over the last 6 weeks? Was it the taste? Was their a recall? Is Tropicana O.J. too expensive? Actually, according to the company they are blaming their decreased sales on their new "re-branding". Their latest design, by Peter Arnell was released on January 1st, and suddenly in a market with 5% decrease in sales, Tropicana has began to rapidly decline. Immediately its parent company, PepsiCo has decided to "listen to its clients" by jerking the re-branding off the shelves and going back to the well recognized straw-in-orange product cover. Do you think "branding makes a difference"? When you purchase things like meat, milk, or orange juice do you make the purchase based on brand and taste, or price? Do you feel like commercials and branding impact your choices? When was the last time you bought a generic brand of something?

South Campus Special Guests: Kerwin and Vicki Dees

Do you have certain people that have had an impact on your life and you will never forget them? Kerwin and Vicki Dees are two of those people in my life. Coach Dees was my basketball coach in high school, and had to put up with both my bad shots and turnovers. (As well as my low vertical jump...) Both Coach and Vicki Dees have always been an encouragement to me, have made an impact on many of my close friends, and really live with the joy of Christ in their lives. Kerwin and Vicki have been through an incredible battle against cancer over the past 12 months. You can read more about it at her blog at www.vickidees.blogspot.com Vicki has been fighting small cell liver cancer for what seems like a short time but feels like a long time! By God's grace, Kerwin and Vicki will be at our south campus services at 9:30 am and 11:00 this Sunday, April 19th. Please pray that Vicki will have enough strength to share her testimony in both services. Make sure to invite a co-worker or neighbor there story will be unbelievably challenging. -casey

loss of innocence in generation z

I can remember the days where watching a solid hour of television meant hoping that I could go to my friend's house to watch their TV that had cable! Not just cable, but the special channel called Nickelodeon. The Nick show was most famous for presenting a game and the loser of the game would have to sit down and be "slimed" by the infamous green slush. Recently, I ran across an article on http://www.churchrelevance.com/ that updated me on this years Nickelodeon Awards: surely it must have lots of hand outs to people like Barney, Diego, and Wonder Girl. But it looks like the "target audience" has changed just a little. According to the Nickelodeon Awards 2009 the "Kids Choice Awards" go to: Beyonce, Chris Brown, Katy Perry, and the Pussycat Dolls. These "choice" singers include lines like: “Now take it off while I watch you perform"...Let’s get and make love on Venus.” “I kissed a girl just to try it. I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it....and “I can get off when you ain’t around.” In fact, one author goes on to say that now in the UK 44% of parents sing their pop songs and TV themes rather than nursery rhymes. (Or better yet Scripture memory!) So the big question is what is filling the memory of the minds of our children? What do you spend time singing while getting them ready for bed or cleaning up from the day? Do you hear your child singing songs that remind them of God and his characteristics or more about the culture and its values? At Rejoice, we constantly try to help our families find ways to teach our babies, kids, and teens the greatness of God while we are driving to school, eating at the table, playing in the living room, and going to bed! This is always better than getting "slimed" by the wrong "choice" awards.

who's on your top 10?

You may remember the infamous, Wayne's World (if not, you didn't miss anything lifechanging) from Saturday Night Live and then from their own movie. The sometimes crude, sometimes funny sketch would typically center around who these frat boys considered to be the most beautiful women in the world. Each week would be centered around the Top 10 women in the world. Since those days, David Letterman has continued the famous top 10 countdown with his own current event Top 10. The Harris Poll recently asked a number of adults in America who they "admired most to call them their hero?" Here is this year's top 10:
1. Barack Obama
2. Jesus Christ
3. Martin Luther King, Jr.
4. Ronald Reagan
5. George W. Bush
6. Abraham Lincoln
7. John McCain
8. John F. Kennedy
9. Chesley Sullenberger
10. Mother Teresa

other notables: God, Bill Gates, George Washington, Oprah Winfrey...
The survey was last conducted in 2001, and in that survey Jesus Christ was the hero mentioned most often, followed by Martin Luther King, Colin Powell, John F. Kennedy and Mother Teresa.
So what makes a hero? Doing things right? Being well known? Lots of Power? What makes the difference between a hero and a "celebrity"? In short, heroes are people who have dramatic personal influence directly on our lives and celebrities are people who are well known for what they have done, achieved, or for what they possess. In his seminal study The Image, Daniel J. Boorstin says "the hero created himself, the celebrity is created by the media. The hero was a big person, the celebrity is a big name. (read more at www.serioustimes.com) So who is on your top 10 list? How did they arrive on your top 10 list? The key to the top 10 list is remembering that God has allowed these people to come into your life. It's my hope that each one of these people have influence you to become more like Christ!